Moving

My nesting partner and I moved last week. Everything about it was incredibly stressful. My voice finally came back, though. I will still see the ENT about it just to make sure nothing is seriously wrong.

This new house just *feels* right. It has problems as you’d expect for a house built in 1975 but we can adapt. We will need a stand alone island in the kitchen to provide more work area as well as storage. The den is now the bird room. I’m still trying to figure out my office/craft space.

So much unpacking needs doing. We may have too much stuff. I’ll be listing some of it on freecycle or somewhere. I’d like to ditch the old treadmill and get something that we can fold up when not in use. We have the usual excess of computer cables, hubs and the like that any pair of computer geeks accumulate over time. Plus the stuff I got to accommodate for lacks in the San Jose house and the Scottsdale house that don’t exist here.

I’ve had several of my medical appointments rescheduled due to issues at the doctor’s office. ~sigh~ But I am finally seeing the neurosurgeon about my back tomorrow! Next week is the rheumatologist. My follow-up with the nephrologist got moved to July. My follow-up with the hematologist is in Sep. Plus I’ll be due for my annual visit with the podiatrist (new orthotics will be needed, they cost $200 last year for three pair, hopefully the price hasn’t gone up and more importantly, I hope my bunion isn’t worse).

I have a show coming up this month. Really hoping to sell out of stock. Got turned down for one in Nov and waiting to hear about one in August. I have gotten a number of sales at my Etsy shop though.

I’m still running my fundraiser to help me until I can stand on my own.  I have dental work coming up plus I know the orthotics will cost me something out-of-pocket ($200 last year).  I’m not sure what treatment options I’ll have for my back.  Guess I’ll know something more after tomorrow’s appointment.   If you want to help me with these out-of-pocket medical costs,  PayPal or  GoFundMe  or buy something awesome from Dragon & Wolf Crafts 

A reminder since suicide is back in the news.  #nostigma you-are-not-alone

Bleh

Been spiralling down and only really noticed today when I said to myself “I want to die”. My usual quiet voice just wants to no longer exist.  This is different.  I’m feeling really hopeless.  I had issues getting my meds due to my change of insurance and a mix-up because of the change.  Plus, a charge dinged my bank account that made me overdrawn by over $100.  I did get the charge reversed though.  And I did get my meds finally after dancing through the automated system at the insurance company and then put on hold until a real person finally spoke with me.   I’m still undecided about the disability thing.  It’s more than I can cope with.  I did finally get a positive-ish response from a therapist but that’s another phone call.  Can’t handle this.

I need to go see the dentist.  And I need new glasses (had my eyes checked and my eyes continue to age which means a new, stronger prescription).

I can’t get to sleep at night.  And then I wake up feeling groggy and tired.  Getting out of bed is a chore.  But my furry babies need food and my bladder still works.  My  back pain has gotten worse and that makes sleeping or sitting difficult.

I can’t stop that negative tape except briefly when listening to music or making stuff.  But sitting long enough to make means back and leg pain (different chairs, cushions haven’t helped).

Bleh.  Just bleh.

My Etsy Shop

My Paypal

YouCaring campaign

 

Hold onto Hope

I’ve written about Project Semicolon a few times.

semicolon

The founder,  Amy Bleuel, died on March 23.  Yes, it was by suicide.  However,  do not lose hope.  The struggle goes on.  For you and me and everyone.   Please reach out and do not give in!

“If anyone is struggling right now, please take care of yourself. Please talk to someone about it. Please make use of the resources we do have. You can text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You can call The Trevor Project at 866-488-7386. Or, consider donating your social media data for suicide prevention research at OurDataHelps.”

Hold onto hope!

ETA:  I just found this amazing piece on Medium written by the founder of  Other Lives a peer support group for trauma survivors.  Please go read it.