Labor Day Weekend: Musings on

I spent Labor Day Weekend working. I was a vendor at a local first time sf/f convention called CoKoCon. We did very well. Made more money than our first two outings combined. However, the hours were long and the dealer’s room was *freezing*. By Monday, I’d accumulated a sweater, a hoodie, a knitted infinity scarf, dragon scale arm warmers and heavy socks. I was still cold by the time we packed out and headed home. And this is Phoenix AZ in the summer! It was over 100F outside and I was shivering and my bones ached from the cold.

The last time we were at this location, the dealers room was in a different ballroom and it was slightly too warm. Hopefully, they’ll get it right next time.

Seeing the numbers and chatting with people makes me think this will work. I hope it’s enough to sustain through the dry periods. My Etsy shop gets lots of views but few sales. I’m hoping to up my marketing game.

I’m looking for the next place to set out my wares. It’s hard breaking in. Trying to network and gain contacts.

I am achy and still haven’t fully recovered from my post Worldcon crud. But working my table did help lift me from my depression pit. I know post con drop will happen but hopefully, it will still mean I’m no longer at the bottom of the dark well.  There’s also a drop that will happen when my wolfcub goes back home.  That one will be more profound.  But if I’m able to get us in another show later this year, that will mitigate those feelings.

Next week, I get dental work.  I also need to reschedule with the ortho.

My 50th birthday is coming.  I’ll have more thoughts about it soon.

 

Facing Challenges

So I’ve been trying to figure out how to write about my current load of issues.  So much has happened since I last posted anything.  I did find a therapist who is wonderful.   I am very optimistic that she’ll be a big help in my journey to better mental health.

I’ll need it because my physical health is…well, not so great.  My follow-up with the nephrologist was rescheduled by that office until next month.  My labs show a slight decrease in kidney function so I really need to consult with him.  My primary care doc continues to be my champion.  One of my labs is elevated which indicates either liver impairment or something else.  I had follow-up labs this week and it’s not my liver.   I will be seeing a hematologist next week to try to figure out what the heck is going on.  Unfortunately, I spent time consulting with Dr. Google and now I’m all freaked out.   There is a chance of bone disease of some type including perhaps, cancer.  So there’s that.

Speaking of bones, I now know why my back hurts all the time.  I have a bulging disc and degenerative disc disease.  Yay me.  I’m waiting to hear back from the neurosurgeon’s office about an appointment. disc29120100_M_0.jpg

How am I coping?   ~sigh~  Well, music therapy helps some.  Today I’ve been rearranging the house which has also helped.  I’ve asked for support from friends (go me!  actually asking) and they’ve been wonderful.   I am reminding myself to take things one step at a time.  Cope with the bits that I am able and don’t sweat the what-ifs.  I’ll have more information soon enough and can then decide how to handle things.

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A quickie

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Not up for a lengthy essay today but I did want to tell y’all about something that happened today.   Through an interaction on social media, I was forcefully reminded about the stigma surrounding mental health.  I was distressed quite a bit about this.  It hit harder because it came from a person that I’d never thought would cotton to such an idea.  It floored me, frankly.  I’m still kinda reeling from it.

What it’s done, however, is to make me more resolved in speaking out about my condition, sharing resources and letting folks know that they are *not* alone!  I got your back!  You have value and worth and there is support out there.  There is help available. It is not a character flaw!

 

 

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The second thing I wanted to mention was that, well, I did it!  I created an Etsy shop!  Woohoo!  DragonWolfCrafts.  Now all I need to do is fill it with stuff for folks to buy.

 

Go me!

 

Thanks and have a happy week!

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The benefits of being open

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The 4 most ridiculous moments from my recent clinical depression.

I love this piece.  I have a nice dose of anxiety to go along with my depression so the experiences outlined in it resonated with me.  However, the intro to the piece is really, really, really important.  Those of us who can be open not only help ourselves, we help destigmatize mental illness.  We try to show those with mental illness that they are not alone and others do grok.  We try to show those without mental illness just how incredibly brutal and debilitating it is.  We try to sow compassion and understanding.