Things I saw on the internet about depression and such.  I hope you find them as useful and interesting as I did.  Always remember:  Depression Lies.  You *ARE* valued.  I love you.

In other news, I returned to therapy armed with my new insurance.  Here’s hoping I will be able to keep on track!


Tips welcome here: Tip Jar



How are you doing?

Seems like such a simple question. I never know quite how to answer though. Especially when the question is from a friend who actually is interested in a sincere answer.


At the moment, on most days, I am doing okay. I am able to get out of bed and get to work. Once at work, I pretend to be a functional human being. Then, I come home. If I have enough spoons, I run necessary errands. If not, I just head home and hope I don’t get run over in the crazy traffic.

At the end of the day, I’m exhausted. But then, I usually start off tired from too little sleep punctuated by weird, often disturbing dreams.  If I manage to get everyone fed, I call it good. I occasionally just go to bed after supper if my partner does not insist we watch TV.

Weekends are better. I can hide from the world for a time. But then, there is laundry, dishes and a wild stab at sweeping and mopping. Plus entertaining the kitten, feeding everyone and the like.

But, I do have a trip to see my OSO coming up thanks to the generosity of friends. Plus I am hopeful that I will get to see my brother and meet his kids in July!

So, how am I?  Tired with moments of joy, some frustration, some physical ills. And hope.

Tools from my Coping Box

Those of us with major depression (and I imagine, other mental health issues) build a Coping Box for those times when our brain weasels run rampant.  One of the tools in mine is reading.  I love to read.  It brings me joy and escape and sometimes deep ponderings.  I mostly read speculative fiction aka SF&F.

Sadly, one of the side effects of my depression is the lack of focus so sometimes, I am unable to actually sit and read an entire novel.  I do enjoy short stories and those are wonderful and useful for when I need a few moments of enjoyment and/or a brief flight of fantasy.  I find it easier these days to handle a tablet and read an ebook than to pick up a hardcopy book.  This also saddens me because I love the physical feel of a book in my hand and turning each page.  Also, the smell!  Especially old, much loved and worn books.

Besides the wonders of short story anthologies and magazines, I have also turned to podcasts to get my fix.  My first was Escape Pod which is focused on science fiction short stories.  The founder of that podcast then added one for fantasy called PodCastle and one for horror called Pseudopod.  Recently added to this wonderful family for fiction is the podcast Cast of Wonders  which is for YA sf/f.    Others I have in regular rotation are: The Drabblecast which is Strange Stories, By Strange Authors, for Strange Listeners, Clarkesworld Podcast a podcast of selections from Clarkesworld Magazine, Lightspeed Magazine Podcast a podcast of selections from Lightspeed Magazine, Kaleidocast a podcast of wonderfully diverse sff stories!  There are many, many more.

So for folks like me who enjoy reading, you may want to try short stories, audiobooks and/or podcasts to work around those stupid focus tricks depression plays on you.


I just read this post on Black Girl Nerds  about the recent suicide of activist  Marshawn McCarrel .  It makes some very good points about how our society fails to really address suicide as part of mental health issues.

Anyway, please go read it.  And remember, you are not alone.  You are loved.

  • Depression Hotline:1-630-482-9696
  • Suicide Hotline:1-800-784-8433
  • LifeLine:1-800-273-8255
  • Trevor Project (LGBTQ Help Line):1-866-488-7386
  • Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
  • Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
  • Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
  • Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
  • Runaway:1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
  • Exhale (After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice): 1-866-4394

Why I Blog, Reason #165

On his blog, speculative fiction writer  Jim Hines who also suffers from depression, talks about a concern troll he picked up recently.  This random person on twitter seemed very interested in how well Mr Hines functioned due to his head meds.  ~eye roll~

There are still so many myths and misunderstandings out there about mental health and the treatment of mental health.  So many myths and such ignorance about the effects of medications.  Mr Hines does a fine job on his blog discussing some of those issues.

I know that would be non-functional without my anti-depressant medication.  Or my thyroid medication. Or my blood pressure medication.  It’s a trade off of side effects vs being able to live as healthfully as possible.

Trust me, those of us on medications communicate with our health care providers about these issues.  So do not be concerned about our functionality.  We’ve got this.