So, I am back in therapy. Thank all the gods and goddesses. It’s been a heck of a week or so.
My partner did his taxes and we owe this great state over $8000. Why? Because of the short sale we were forced to do with our house in Tucson. The difference between the remaining mortgage and the sale amount counts as income! The Federal government passed legislation that exempts our situation but this state has not.
Plus, my temp contract ended on April 4. Luckily, there are several projects pending so I’ll still have a job for a while.
My brakes are making funny noises. Okay, not funny but kinda scary actually.
There is now no savings at all due to this tax thing after we scrape together what we can.
I am paying $70 for each therapy session until I meet my deductible. Plus, it’s time to get blood work, a checkup and renew my meds.
And our lease is up soon.
Holding on by my fingernails.
Those of us with major depression (and I imagine, other mental health issues) build a Coping Box for those times when our brain weasels run rampant. One of the tools in mine is reading. I love to read. It brings me joy and escape and sometimes deep ponderings. I mostly read speculative fiction aka SF&F.
Sadly, one of the side effects of my depression is the lack of focus so sometimes, I am unable to actually sit and read an entire novel. I do enjoy short stories and those are wonderful and useful for when I need a few moments of enjoyment and/or a brief flight of fantasy. I find it easier these days to handle a tablet and read an ebook than to pick up a hardcopy book. This also saddens me because I love the physical feel of a book in my hand and turning each page. Also, the smell! Especially old, much loved and worn books.
Besides the wonders of short story anthologies and magazines, I have also turned to podcasts to get my fix. My first was Escape Pod which is focused on science fiction short stories. The founder of that podcast then added one for fantasy called PodCastle and one for horror called Pseudopod. Recently added to this wonderful family for fiction is the podcast Cast of Wonders which is for YA sf/f. Others I have in regular rotation are: The Drabblecast which is Strange Stories, By Strange Authors, for Strange Listeners, Clarkesworld Podcast a podcast of selections from Clarkesworld Magazine, Lightspeed Magazine Podcast a podcast of selections from Lightspeed Magazine, Kaleidocast a podcast of wonderfully diverse sff stories! There are many, many more.
So for folks like me who enjoy reading, you may want to try short stories, audiobooks and/or podcasts to work around those stupid focus tricks depression plays on you.
As part of my therapy for depression, I’ve been openly talking about my struggle on social media (google + and facebook, mostly with a few posts on DreamWidth which are mirrored to LiveJournal). I’ve been thinking of setting up an actual blog to try to reach more folks. Not just out of vanity but because I want other folks suffering from mental health issues to know that they are not alone. Mental illness is not a moral failing, it is a health issue. I also want to point folks at useful resources such as www.nami.org
NAMI is National Alliance on Mental Illness and it raises awareness, offers support for those with mental health issues and their families. There are NAMI chapters all across the US.
I also hope to find resources for those outside the US but most of my experience is US based including with the deeply flawed US health system.
I also have physical health issues which are tied into my mental health. I have arthritis and chronic back pain. So I will likely write often about coping with those. It is all connected to my overall general wellness.
Welcome aboard. I hope to provide useful information and insights amidst my ramblings here. I welcome feedback but will moderate comments to weed out abuse, trolling and the like.