Semicolon

So, last Thursday was the perfect storm of just too many things gone wrong.  I’ve been having very bad pain days I think partially due to winter finally arriving to the Valley of the Sun(winter being relative but it is a change in weather nevertheless).   I had finally made contact with a therapist and I was nearly giddy at the prospect of getting into therapy and on the road to better mental health. The appointment was originally set for early December but a cancellation allowed me a chance for last Thursday.  Giddy!  Glee!  Unfortunately, I failed to ask a vital question when setting up my appointment.   They didn’t take my insurance and as y’all know I am broke ass.  I didn’t have the $225 or really, any money for the initial appointment.  So I thanked the front office person and left.

I sat in my car and cried.  I started off back home and my gas light came on.  I cried some more.  It’s a miracle I didn’t have an accident.  I did make it home though.

I felt so overwhelmed with what I felt was failure.

semicolon

I took a deep breath. I put the pills away.  And then I took a nap and cuddled with my kittens.

I still feel fragile.  And I’m cranky. Moody.  All of that fun stuff.  Dreading the holidays and feeling isolated.

I have $0.51 in the bank.  I would like to treat myself to Moravian sugar cookies.  A taste from home.

But I’m still here.  My story continues.

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desertdragon42

I am a science fiction fan. I read it, I watch it, I breathe it, I go to conventions to hang out with others like me. I met my fannish family at my first Worldcon in 1995 in Glasgow. I've been smitten ever since. I am a crafter. I make jewelry and sell it http://www.etsy.com/shop/DragonWolfCrafts Just your typical bi pagan poly sf/f fan gamer geek! I have an amazing group of friends and chosen family flung all across the US and the world.