Fear and loathing


So far, it’s been a bad week. Sleeping very poorly after a weekend of sleeping poorly but lots of hours in bed. I’ve felt paralyzed by anxiety and fear. I wanted to have good news that I managed a successful phone call. Alas, not to be. The person I needed to speak with will not be in until tomorrow. 😦 Not sure if I’ll be able to gather myself to do the phone thing tomorrow.

Trying to reach out to creditors about my debt and make arrangements. Complicated because I have no steady income. They want to set up a payment plan even if the payments are tiny. I cannot do regular payments because I do not have any income. It sucks.

Not found any jobs to throw my resume at this week so far. Pinged a recruiter with no response.

In good news, I have some findings thanks to the generosity of a dear friend. But my hands have been hurting and very stiff so no craft making has happened yet. I’ll probably try something small even so.

OTOT, feeling like a failure as a human being. A friend recommended applying for disability but I fear being judged too well for it and therefore I’ve just been lazy and lying this whole time.

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I am a science fiction fan. I read it, I watch it, I breathe it, I go to conventions to hang out with others like me. I met my fannish family at my first Worldcon in 1995 in Glasgow. I've been smitten ever since. I am a crafter. I make jewelry and sell it http://www.etsy.com/shop/DragonWolfCrafts Just your typical bi pagan poly sf/f fan gamer geek! I have an amazing group of friends and chosen family flung all across the US and the world.