I have been trying to get the words out. I am having so many complex emotions right now. I feel like life keeps heaping crap on my shoulders. I VB did my taxes and somehow owe California $38! The “guaranteed” job just went away. The company is no longer hiring for the position I left. I owe so much money. Jay’s paycheck is smaller because the premium for my insurance paid by his company is taxable income. We should *not* be struggling on his salary.
I suck. I should just suck it up buttercup, find a job and muddle through.
But I know how much effort I put in to get my health back on track. And I know that juggling a full-time job with everything else doesn’t work for me. My health would suffer.