Despite the recent (see:When it rains, it pours ) spate of bad financial news, I set off Monday for my much longed for visit with my long distance partner. This trip was only made possible through the extreme generosity of his OSO and her husband. Yay for awesome metamours! [For more info about polyamory/multiple relationships]
Anyway, we met in the middle as it were in Las Vegas because a flight to there was way less expensive than a flight from here to him. We went out twice and spent most of the time in bed or cuddling on the couch. Just being together. We saw Zumanity and what an amazing show that was! And we got free tix to see the Zombie Burlesque show which was also just a huge amount of fun.
In between the shows (and yes, just a bit of debauchery), we talked and dreamed together about the future.
It solidified in me that the best thing for my mental and physical health is to leave the Bay area and move back to Arizona. Much of my chosen family is there. And supportive friends who grok my situation. And sunshine. Lots of sunshine.
My last therapy session I spent most of the time talking about how dissatisfied I was with my job. Plus how guilty I felt about being dissatisfied. I should be grateful I have a job at all! It pays okay and my coworkers are really amazing. My boss is really amazing. The atmosphere in the office is totally laid back, friendly and I feel appreciated. But.
I am bored. I feel underutilized. This job is just not the right fit for me. I dread going to work each day and when I am there, I count the minutes until I can leave.
Chatting with various service people about where I am from and why I was there in LV and making small talk really brought home to me just how incredibly unhappy I am being here. There are so many womderfully cool things about here but they are outweighed for my depressive, introverted, shy self by the bad (overcrowding, horrendous traffic, insane housing cost and oh, did I mention the unrelenting press of people?)
So now to figure out how to get myself and the partner I live with back to Arizona. The financial hit makes this way more tricky. ~sigh~