I just read this post on Black Girl Nerds  about the recent suicide of activist  Marshawn McCarrel .  It makes some very good points about how our society fails to really address suicide as part of mental health issues.

Anyway, please go read it.  And remember, you are not alone.  You are loved.

  • Depression Hotline:1-630-482-9696
  • Suicide Hotline:1-800-784-8433
  • LifeLine:1-800-273-8255
  • Trevor Project (LGBTQ Help Line):1-866-488-7386
  • Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
  • Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
  • Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
  • Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
  • Runaway:1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
  • Exhale (After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice): 1-866-4394

Why I Blog, Reason #165

On his blog, speculative fiction writer  Jim Hines who also suffers from depression, talks about a concern troll he picked up recently.  This random person on twitter seemed very interested in how well Mr Hines functioned due to his head meds.  ~eye roll~

There are still so many myths and misunderstandings out there about mental health and the treatment of mental health.  So many myths and such ignorance about the effects of medications.  Mr Hines does a fine job on his blog discussing some of those issues.

I know that would be non-functional without my anti-depressant medication.  Or my thyroid medication. Or my blood pressure medication.  It’s a trade off of side effects vs being able to live as healthfully as possible.

Trust me, those of us on medications communicate with our health care providers about these issues.  So do not be concerned about our functionality.  We’ve got this.


Cycling between hope and sadness

Ugh.  Rough few days.  My partner has gotten a lot of pings about jobs here and elsewhere.  One or two that would mean moving home.  Home is where I really want to be and starting to think that it is where I *need* to be.  At least for a while to give myself time to heal.

So, hearing about various jobs has been left me exhausted from a roller coaster of emotions.  One of the jobs is a really good fit and it would put me within easy driving distance of home and many, many friends and family.  However, my partner seems to thrive out there in tech geek central.   Pings about jobs here that wouldn’t require relocation are coming in.  Interviews are happening.  My heart is torn.

I hate it here. I hate the crowds and the traffic and I hate this house.   I haven’t made many irl friends.  I don’t feel settled even after being here over a year.  Long ago, I discovered with the help of a therapist, that I have to put down roots and make connections. It is vital to my mental health to feel part of a community.  I created my own or joined communities in the various places that we’ve lived.  Here, it seems crowded with a wide variety of geek groups and I thought I could join a few.  However, leaving the house to attend anything is often beyond me.  The traffic is so horrific to me.

Anyway, I need to figure out a way to feel connected to this place or I need to go home. It’s been nearly two decades.  I think it is time.